The Book of Joy
This Book Is for You If…
✔ You want to feel more joy, even when life feels uncertain.
✔ You desire to grow through the challenges in your life.
✔ You’re ready to nurture daily habits of gratitude, compassion, and presence.
Reading this felt like being wrapped in wisdom and warmth, with gentle guidance on remembering how to reclaim joy—no matter what life brings.
Choosing Joy
Book Review & Reflection by Lindsay Smith, LCSW
The Book of Joy
By His Holiness the Dalai Lama, Archbishop Desmond Tutu, and Douglas Abrams
Mood of the Book:
Joyful, Inspiring, and Patient
5 Gems to Fuel Growth…
Joy increases when resistance stops.
The shift I needed: Acceptance of what is frees us from emotional spirals and opens the door to aligned, empowered action.
This one simple idea was mind-altering for me: If I can change something, I will. But if I can’t, why be consumed by wishing it wasn’t this way? As the authors shared, “If something can be done about the situation, what need is there for dejection? And if nothing can be done about it, what use is there for being dejected?” I have found myself coming back to this again and again.
Right now, I’m navigating severe headaches and dizzy spells. We think something in my home is triggering it, so I’ve temporarily moved out while running tests on both my body and the house. I could spiral in worry or resentment. But instead, I’m choosing acceptance: This is where I am. I’m doing everything I can. That’s enough.
Acceptance doesn’t mean we’re passive, it just frees us to take wise action without emotional overload. It also creates space for curiosity. Once we stop resisting what is, we can ask, What’s next? What else is possible from here? That’s where joy begins to return.
Focusing on others eases our own pain.
The shift I needed: Turning our focus outward offers relief, perspective, and a renewed sense of connection.
It’s surprisingly easy to become consumed by our own pain. When we're hurting, the natural instinct is to turn inward—trying to figure it out, fix it, or just endure it. But the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Tutu offered a gentler path: Shift your focus to the suffering of others—and your own pain lessens.
The other night, I couldn’t sleep for hours. Frustration was rising fast. Then I remembered this teaching and imagined all the people across the world also lying awake. I sent them love, comfort, and peace. It didn’t solve my insomnia, but it softened the edges. I felt less alone. Less agitated.
Compassion pulls us out of our own spirals. When we think, How can I lessen someone else’s suffering? our own weight starts to lift. It’s not about ignoring our pain, it’s about remembering we’re not alone in it. And somehow, that makes it easier to carry.
Perspective shifts can transform pain into possibility.
The shift I needed: Our greatest freedom is how we choose to see what’s in front of us—and that choice can open the door to joy.
So much of our suffering is caused by our own thoughts. The story we tell about a situation can either deepen our pain or open us to gratitude and growth. When I catch myself spiraling, I pause and ask: What can I be grateful for? What opportunity might this hold?
Expanding our perspective isn’t always easy, but it’s powerful. It helps me see beyond my immediate frustration or fear—and remember that we’re all doing our best. We all want the same thing: less suffering, more joy. When I hold that truth, it becomes easier to extend patience and compassion, even toward people I might feel frustrated with.
Life rarely unfolds the way we think it should. But we always get to choose how we view it. When we shift from “Why is this happening to me?” to “How can I grow from this?” we begin to reclaim our joy.
Adversity can deepen our capacity for joy.
The shift I needed: We can’t always choose our challenges, but we can choose to let them refine us instead of define us.
Every situation, whether easy or hard, is a gift. Some offer joy in the moment. Others invite us to grow. The authors wrote, “Suffering can either embitter us or ennoble us, and the difference lies in whether we are able to find meaning in our suffering.” Sometimes that meaning is clear. Other times, we have to dig deep to find it.
On a recent family trip to Costa Rica, we arrived at our rental house hot and exhausted—only to find the power and water out. Frustration rose fast. I didn’t shift gracefully at first (growth is still very much a daily practice!), but once I gained perspective, I could see what was still good: We had options. We had shelter. We were safe. And we were together.
Some suffering is inevitable in life, but how we respond is always within our power. Joy doesn’t depend on things going smoothly—it lives in how we choose to show up when they don’t.
Gratitude grounds us in joy.
The shift I needed: When we choose gratitude to guide our day, we set the tone for how we feel and show up throughout the day.
The authors suggest beginning each day with this thought: “I am fortunate to be alive. I have a precious human life. I am not going to waste it.” What a powerful way to begin the day—with awe, intention, and appreciation.
Gratitude keeps us connected to what is real and good, even when life feels messy or uncertain. Every moment is a gift, and when we remember that (even imperfectly), we become more present, more joyful, more alive.
Most mornings, before I even get out of bed, I silently list several things I’m grateful for. Later, I record several others in my gratitude journal. This practice isn’t just a routine, it’s a way to start my day from a place of joy. Some days it’s simple things: hot coffee, a warm, cozy bed, sunshine through the window. Other days, it’s deeper: clarity, growth, healing.
Gratitude is a choice—a way to expand what’s already good. And because joy is contagious, when we live gratefully, that joy ripples outward.
My 3 Core Ratings (1-5)
This book felt like a warm, compassionate embrace. The stories were rich and inspiring, and the authors’ gentle perspectives lifted my spirit. Their kindness and wisdom brought joy not just through their words, but through how deeply they live them.
This book shifted how I think about joy, suffering, and connection. It reminded me that everyone is ultimately seeking the same thing, and that joy is not dependent on our circumstances, but on how we relate to them.
These teachings are compelling—deeply meaningful and clearly worth pursuing. I can feel their impact already. But living them fully takes intention, repetition, and commitment. This isn’t a one-time shift; it’s a practice I will return to again and again.
Mic Drop Moment:
“We are most joyful when we focus on others, not on ourselves…
Bringing joy to others is the fastest way to experience joy oneself.”
– His Holiness the Dalai Lama, Archbishop Desmond Tutu, and Douglas Abrams
Notes, Nudges & Nuggets:
✔ Even when life feels heavy, joy is still possible. You don’t need perfect conditions; you just need presence, perspective, and a willingness to return to joy.
✔ Laughter heals. These two spiritual leaders, both familiar with suffering, regularly teased each other and found joy in silliness. We can, too.
✔ Joy isn’t the absence of hardship—it’s the presence of love, meaning, and connection even in the midst of it.
✔ At the end of this book, the authors share daily joy practices they use themselves, offering a meaningful starting point for your own journey.
If you’re thinking about picking up this book – or doing any Amazon shopping – clicking through my link helps support future reviews at no extra cost to you. Thank you so much for your support!
Final Reflection:
No matter what life brings, joy is never out of reach.
It lives in presence, in perspective, and in the quiet power of choosing love over fear.
_________________________
Today, choose one moment to pause… breathe… and remember what matters most.
That’s where joy begins.
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